May 15, 2021

New York Hookups

Best guide for meeting hotties in NY!

When You Hate Your BF’s Mustache

Kissing

– Hey, time to get up. It’s December 1st. Today is the day.

Time to shave. I even bought you a razor. C’mon Ben, do it, Movember’s over. – I think I’m gonna keep it. – What? (upbeat music) – Can we talk about Ben’s mustache? – He did Movember and then he didn’t shave so it’s still there and I’m trying to support him. – I like it.

I think it’s, like, kinda rugged and like, kinda badass. – Totally. – Or he kinda looks like a sex offender. – No. – Oh. – Whoa. – Check out Ben. – What happened to your face, honey? – You know, I bet you can rock a mustache. – Yeah? – No, my dad cannot rock a mustache. – So much food gets stuck in his mustache. So, he’s like, oh, it’s a flavor saver. Like, I can’t kiss him with that.

Ugh. It’s, it’s so gross. Ben, no, no, no, no, no. – No, that can’t be a thing. – I’m getting less attracted to him and then I feel bad about myself because this is someone I love and care about. – But sometimes women need to like, light the way. You know what I mean? Like, you know better. – Why does he like it? – Oh my god. [Ben’s girlfriend] There you go. – They love this mustache. – They do. – Alright, Pop Tarts then. – Whoa, sweet ‘stache bro. – Thanks, man. – Go ahead, go in. [Ben] Really? – Yeah. [Ben] Thanks, man. – I.D. please. – Oh. – Let me buy you a drink. – I’ll take a pale ale. – Pale ale? – [Ben] Yeah. – I’ll have a vodka soda. – One pale ale.

There you go, buddy. – Could you ask him for the drink for me, too? – Do you use any creams or waxes? – I kinda rub my forehead and just (makes slurping noise). – With that mustache Ben’s like a new man. – Oh yeah, that is exactly how mine felt. – If you love it so much, why don’t you just grow one? – No, no, I can’t, I’m single. – Dad! – What do you think, eh? – What happened to your face? – Can you believe this?https://www.liveabout.com/top-free-dating-sites-1022130 Is this not ridiculous? – It’s all your fault. – [Dad] Well, I was inspired by Ben. – [Mom] And I blame you, Ben. Thank you for ruining my life. – You are a work of art. – Oh god, gross. (laughing) – It’s cool. – I need to get rid of it. – I think we need to get rid of it. – Because flavor saver is not part of what I agreed to. – I found myself in one of those, sorta, illegal, sorta, underground, you know, street fight videos. – Hey, babe, what’s up? – Uh, who are your friends here? – My ‘stache bros. – ‘Stache bros? – [Ben] Uh huh. – Okay, Ben, it’s gotta go. – [Ben] Why? – [Ben’s girlfriend] If you were actual Ben and had a mustache, that’s okay, but you are– – Well, I happen to like mustache Ben. Okay, I’m more confident.

I’m popular as fuck. – Ben, those aren’t your real friends. – No, they’re not my real friends. They’re my real ‘stache bros, get it right. – Are you just fucking with me? – Why would I ever do that? – You’re just using your ‘stache to piss me off because you think it’s funny. – I don’t know what you’re talking about. – Okay, well, what if I stop shaving? – Your legs? – Everything. – You can do whatever you want. Say whatever you want. The ‘stache stays.

– Hey, time to get up. It’s December 1st. Today is the day.

Time to shave. I even bought you a razor. C’mon Ben, do it, Movember’s over. – I think I’m gonna keep it. – What? (upbeat music) – Can we talk about Ben’s mustache? – He did Movember and then he didn’t shave so it’s still there and I’m trying to support him. – I like it.

Kissing

I think it’s, like, kinda rugged and like, kinda badass. – Totally. – Or he kinda looks like a sex offender. – No. – Oh. – Whoa. – Check out Ben. – What happened to your face, honey? – You know, I bet you can rock a mustache. – Yeah? – No, my dad cannot rock a mustache. – So much food gets stuck in his mustache. So, he’s like, oh, it’s a flavor saver. Like, I can’t kiss him with that.

Ugh. It’s, it’s so gross. Ben, no, no, no, no, no. – No, that can’t be a thing. – I’m getting less attracted to him and then I feel bad about myself because this is someone I love and care about. – But sometimes women need to like, light the way. You know what I mean? Like, you know better. – Why does he like it? – Oh my god. [Ben’s girlfriend] There you go. – They love this mustache. – They do. – Alright, Pop Tarts then. – Whoa, sweet ‘stache bro. – Thanks, man. – Go ahead, go in. [Ben] Really? – Yeah. [Ben] Thanks, man. – I.D. please. – Oh. – Let me buy you a drink. – I’ll take a pale ale. – Pale ale? – [Ben] Yeah. – I’ll have a vodka soda. – One pale ale.

There you go, buddy. – Could you ask him for the drink for me, too? – Do you use any creams or waxes? – I kinda rub my forehead and just (makes slurping noise). – With that mustache Ben’s like a new man. – Oh yeah, that is exactly how mine felt. – If you love it so much, why don’t you just grow one? – No, no, I can’t, I’m single. – Dad! – What do you think, eh? – What happened to your face? – Can you believe this? Is this not ridiculous? – It’s all your fault. – [Dad] Well, I was inspired by Ben. – [Mom] And I blame you, Ben. Thank you for ruining my life. – You are a work of art. – Oh god, gross. (laughing) – It’s cool. – I need to get rid of it. – I think we need to get rid of it. – Because flavor saver is not part of what I agreed to. – I found myself in one of those, sorta, illegal, sorta, underground, you know, street fight videos. – Hey, babe, what’s up? – Uh, who are your friends here? – My ‘stache bros. – ‘Stache bros? – [Ben] Uh huh. – Okay, Ben, it’s gotta go. – [Ben] Why? – [Ben’s girlfriend] If you were actual Ben and had a mustache, that’s okay, but you are– – Well, I happen to like mustache Ben. Okay, I’m more confident.

I’m popular as fuck. – Ben, those aren’t your real friends. – No, they’re not my real friends. They’re my real ‘stache bros, get it right. – Are you just fucking with me? – Why would I ever do that? – You’re just using your ‘stache to piss me off because you think it’s funny. – I don’t know what you’re talking about. – Okay, well, what if I stop shaving? – Your legs? – Everything. – You can do whatever you want. Say whatever you want. The ‘stache stays.

End of story. So get used to it. – Great, you got it. – Allie, you need to take care of this. – It is me or the mustache. And me is going to have to make a choice. (ominous music) – What are you doing? – This is for both of us. (screaming) – What the fuck?

Honey! – It’s me or the mustache, Ben. Okay? – Why would you do this? – Get rid of it. – No. – Yes. – No, I’m gonna have to reshape it. – You can’t, it’s over. Get rid of it, it’s gone. – Huh, huh.

How does that look? – No. – Yeah. – No, you are not doing that in public. I will not go out in public with you. – Watch me. (laughing) – Hey guys. – Yo, what’s up dude? – Uh, Ben, you shaved, your, uh, mustache. – Yeah, I give it a little trim, you know. – It kinda looks a little bit like, uh– – Like Hitler, looks like Hitler. – It’s a classic Chaplin. – Yeah, I’m getting some German vibes from it. – Who, who is Hitler? – Ben. – A woman there gave me free chili. She took one look at the mustache and I could tell, you know, she was that kind of girl who’s just going to be into it, you know.

Sometimes you can tell.