My husband is sexting with someone else. My name is Paul Friedman, I founded The Marriage Foundation and I want to help you with this and this is a very serious topic because if you are like most women you are in denial. You’re in delusion about this. You’ve come up with all kinds of excuses or your anger has completely taken over. At best, you have no idea what to do so I’m going to lay it out very cleanly.
Number one — he is cheating on you there’s no question about that. That is a form of cheating on you because he’s taking the energy that should only be going into your marriage and into you and he’s giving it to another woman. It may be very shallow, it may be very early on, maybe he’s not having sex with her. Maybe this is what he’s doing to relieve the pressure of a marriage that’s not so good but it doesn’t matter, he’s still cheating on you so you have to see it in that light to understand the importance of what you can and should do so that’s number one.
Number two — it’s not a standalone. He’s not sexting someone else. How do I deal with that? He’s cheating on you so you have to recognize that your marriage is not fulfilling for him.
He is leaving the marriage, he’s on his way out. Your marriage is dysfunctional enough so that he needs this in his mind. Is it the right thing to do? Of course not, but unfortunately, there are a few avenues that he can take to deal with his marriage.
He has probably almost a 100% certainly brought up to you that you’re not satisfying a part of what he needs and you have ignored it.https://www.yellowpages.com/columbia-sc/interracial-dating-central So that doesn’t mean you are to blame but there is a cause and effect here and what’s causing him to look elsewhere for satisfaction is the lack of satisfaction within the marriage — it’s just reality. It’s not a condemnation of you, it’s not a judgement of you, it’s a reality and it’s one that you can address. Now, what you shouldn’t do is confront him.
It’s only going to make matters worse. If you already have let’s leave that aside. Now, when people write in to us because we have a service. You could write in for free advice from our counselors because we’re a nonprofit foundation and a rule of thumb is that if there is infidelity in the marriage that means the dynamics of the marriage is already so far out of whack. They’re just fixing this or learning to communicate better or opening up or doing this or that isn’t going to work.
Imagine you’re walking on a mountain trail and you’ve gotten so lost that you have no idea where you are. Well, learning how to do this or that isn’t going to get you on track. You need to be rescued so we have a program, a process that will help you — first step is help you find your own center. Get you calm, get you back into a place where you can experience happiness again because you got married to be happy and then give you step-by-step process to get your marriage back. Not just back but to redefine it into a machine that produces happiness through love because that’s why you got married.
You got married to be happy, didn’t you? And the only way to be happy guaranteed is through unconditional love. Makes sense? So that means all of your actions within your marriage should contribute to that twofold goal but the person (you), and the person (your husband), don’t have these goals in mind much less a process.
So first step is we got to get you to where you’re controlling your mind, your refashioning the triggers in your mind, your habits your instinctive reactions. We’re refashioning everything so that you become different people and you interact in a different way with one another, a way that produces the happiness from love so that’s our approach. I know that our approach works because we’ve been doing it for over 20 years and our success rate is off the charts.
We guarantee our courses and we rarely get a cancellation or anyone who says, “This didn’t work,” and when it doesn’t work it’s usually because it’s just so far beyond repair or there’s somebody who’s into alcohol or drugs or is clinically dysfunctional in some fashion. But for us normal people, it totally works so that’s always going to be our advice. You should write into one of our counselors and hear it directly and personally, you can provide whatever information you’d like.
There’s no judgment, it’s very private. We don’t publish you writing in or anything like that. So please take this very seriously and please understand it’s not a, I can fix it with this or I can fix it with that. Don’t confront your husband.
Don’t say anything. You could look at more of the videos, you could read some of the articles everything that we do at The Marriage Foundation is based on common sense and 20 years of experience so we know it works. You’re not taking a chance when you go with us. So hopefully, that’s all it. It is just sexting.
Hopefully, there isn’t physical contact which means that it’ll be a breeze literally to bring your marriage back together. If you do, what you’re supposed to do. All right, I am concerned for you. We pray for those who write in to us who even look at our videos, we pray for you and we want your marriage to be success.
I want you to know that it’s rare for a marriage like yours to not be completely turned around if you follow our process, very rare. I can’t even think of one instance to be honest with you. So hopefully, you will heed my call. Blessings to you, blessings to your husband and blessings to your family.
God bless, take care!