December 4, 2020

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He Says He’s Not Ready For A Relationship…

in a Relationship

Now, he may say he’s not ready because, one, he just doesn’t want a relationship with you. And I know that might be hard for you to hear and a hard pill for you to swallow. But I don’t want to give you no BS. I don’t want to sit trying to give you this nice answer that makes you feel okay because that doesn’t really help you in this situation. (Music) Hey what’s up everybody, this is Stephan Labossiere aka Stephan Speaks.

Now, I just want to be real with you right now. You know when I sit down to do these videos, I sometimes overthink and over analyze and wonder how I need to convey these messages to you. But you know, my favorite thing to do I know what my best practice is, is to pray before I speak on these videos and just let my spirit lead me.

And so, with today’s video, I want to address this issue that I’m constantly getting questioned about by women. Whether I do my lives on social media, them emailing me, and it’s always about well, he’s not ready for a relationship what should I do? How should I handle this situation? All right. So, let me make it real clear up front.

When he says he is not ready for a relationship, stop dealing with him. That’s the first plain and simple answer. But let me further explain this because again, so many women get caught up in these situations going about it the wrong way and only causing more problems for themselves.

Listen, here’s the reality, when a man tells you he is not ready for a relationship number one, do not get confused by the fact that he may behave in a way that makes you feel like he has feelings for you.https://lolajean.com/events/2020/5/nycvirtualspeeddating Because that can be very confusing and you can start to latch onto his actions even though his words are telling you something completely different. Now, I know we always say actions speak louder than words, but in situations like these the actions and the words have to be consistent with each other.

If they’re not, there’s a huge problem. And so, when any man can say to you he is not ready for a relationship, that is the default answer. I don’t care what he does for you.

I don’t care how he treats you. If he says he is not ready for one, do not make yourself believe otherwise because you’re setting yourself up for failure. Now, he may say he’s not ready because one, he just doesn’t want a relationship with you. And I know that might be hard for you to hear and a hard pill for you to swallow. But I don’t want to give you no BS.

I don’t want to sit trying to give you this nice answer that makes you feel okay because that doesn’t really help you in this situation. The reality is that he does not see you as the one for him. And you know what? That’s perfectly fine because he’s not the one for you.

And I’m glad at least somebody’s recognizing that in this situation. Don’t internalize that, don’t take it personally in the sense that there’s something wrong with you. Listen, it doesn’t matter how amazing and great of a woman you are. Everyone is not going to like you.

Everyone is not going to see you as their potential wife or someone they want to invest their time and energy into. And that’s fine because you’re not going to view every good man as someone you want to invest into and spend your life with. It’s just the way life is, we don’t connect with everybody, we’re not going to want to take it there with everybody. So be it. The quicker we can recognize that, the quicker we can move on and be ready and willing to receive someone who is truly for us.

So, again, he just may not see you as the one, but rather than tell you that, he’ll just say I’m not ready for a relationship because he may want to enjoy you in the moment. He may want to continue to hang out with you and gain whatever benefits you provide without him having to commit to you and you obligate him to being officially in a relationship with you. But regardless, you’ve got to take him at his word. He says he’s not ready for a relationship, leave it at that. But now, there’s a other side to this.

He may say he’s not ready for a relationship because guess what? He’s actually not ready. He may recognize within himself that there are issues he needs to address or there’s some foundations that he needs to set. Again, it may have nothing to do with you as a woman. A matter of fact, it may be out of respect for you because he views you in high regard.

He does believe you deserved the best and he recognizes he is not prepared or willing or able to give that right now. And if that is the case, you still have to leave his ass alone. It doesn’t change anything because guess what? If he is not ready to give you what you need, then you don’t need to be giving him what he wants. That’s only going to shoot yourself in the foot.

You’ve taken away any incentive for him to get his act together, for him to be able to come back later and you guys can come together and be in a relationship. So, regardless of whether he doesn’t see you as the one or he’s truly not ready the answer remains the same. You have to let him go. Now, a lot of women attempt to play the middle ground and still remain friends and they’ll say to themselves well, I’m not going to have sex with him. I’m not going to get too involved with him.

But you got to stop lying to yourself because many times you fall right into that trap. You end up doing girlfriend stuff, you end up sleeping with him, and even if you don’t, you become so emotionally invested and consumed by this situation that it completely takes your eye off of where you should be focusing. You, your relationship with God, your purpose, your growth, you cannot let this man be a distraction in your life. If he is not ready to be what he needs to be for you or to fully commit to you then let him go. When he’s ready, he can come back you guys can discuss it and if things are what they need to be, then you can have a relationship with this individual.

But do not get caught up trying to play the middle ground, because you’re only going to play yourself. So, ultimately listen, there are going to be some situations where the man is just lying. There are going to be some situations where the man is being honest. Either way, you don’t need to get romantically involved with him. You need to be honest with yourself that you cannot handle trying to be just his friend in the meantime.

And if there’s truly a connection there, there will be an opportunity later on. But you don’t need to be sitting around waiting for that opportunity. You need to shift your focus back on you. You need to make sure you’re doing what God wants you to do in your life.

in a Relationship

Now, he may say he’s not ready because, one, he just doesn’t want a relationship with you. And I know that might be hard for you to hear and a hard pill for you to swallow. But I don’t want to give you no BS. I don’t want to sit trying to give you this nice answer that makes you feel okay because that doesn’t really help you in this situation. (Music) Hey what’s up everybody, this is Stephan Labossiere aka Stephan Speaks.

Now, I just want to be real with you right now. You know when I sit down to do these videos, I sometimes overthink and over analyze and wonder how I need to convey these messages to you. But you know, my favorite thing to do I know what my best practice is, is to pray before I speak on these videos and just let my spirit lead me.

And so, with today’s video, I want to address this issue that I’m constantly getting questioned about by women. Whether I do my lives on social media, them emailing me, and it’s always about well, he’s not ready for a relationship what should I do? How should I handle this situation? All right. So, let me make it real clear up front.

When he says he is not ready for a relationship, stop dealing with him. That’s the first plain and simple answer. But let me further explain this because again, so many women get caught up in these situations going about it the wrong way and only causing more problems for themselves.

Listen, here’s the reality, when a man tells you he is not ready for a relationship number one, do not get confused by the fact that he may behave in a way that makes you feel like he has feelings for you. Because that can be very confusing and you can start to latch onto his actions even though his words are telling you something completely different. Now, I know we always say actions speak louder than words, but in situations like these the actions and the words have to be consistent with each other.

If they’re not, there’s a huge problem. And so, when any man can say to you he is not ready for a relationship, that is the default answer. I don’t care what he does for you.

I don’t care how he treats you. If he says he is not ready for one, do not make yourself believe otherwise because you’re setting yourself up for failure. Now, he may say he’s not ready because one, he just doesn’t want a relationship with you. And I know that might be hard for you to hear and a hard pill for you to swallow. But I don’t want to give you no BS.

I don’t want to sit trying to give you this nice answer that makes you feel okay because that doesn’t really help you in this situation. The reality is that he does not see you as the one for him. And you know what? That’s perfectly fine because he’s not the one for you.

And I’m glad at least somebody’s recognizing that in this situation. Don’t internalize that, don’t take it personally in the sense that there’s something wrong with you. Listen, it doesn’t matter how amazing and great of a woman you are. Everyone is not going to like you.

Everyone is not going to see you as their potential wife or someone they want to invest their time and energy into. And that’s fine because you’re not going to view every good man as someone you want to invest into and spend your life with. It’s just the way life is, we don’t connect with everybody, we’re not going to want to take it there with everybody. So be it. The quicker we can recognize that, the quicker we can move on and be ready and willing to receive someone who is truly for us.

So, again, he just may not see you as the one, but rather than tell you that, he’ll just say I’m not ready for a relationship because he may want to enjoy you in the moment. He may want to continue to hang out with you and gain whatever benefits you provide without him having to commit to you and you obligate him to being officially in a relationship with you. But regardless, you’ve got to take him at his word. He says he’s not ready for a relationship, leave it at that. But now, there’s a other side to this.

He may say he’s not ready for a relationship because guess what? He’s actually not ready. He may recognize within himself that there are issues he needs to address or there’s some foundations that he needs to set. Again, it may have nothing to do with you as a woman. A matter of fact, it may be out of respect for you because he views you in high regard.

He does believe you deserved the best and he recognizes he is not prepared or willing or able to give that right now. And if that is the case, you still have to leave his ass alone. It doesn’t change anything because guess what? If he is not ready to give you what you need, then you don’t need to be giving him what he wants. That’s only going to shoot yourself in the foot.

You’ve taken away any incentive for him to get his act together, for him to be able to come back later and you guys can come together and be in a relationship. So, regardless of whether he doesn’t see you as the one or he’s truly not ready the answer remains the same. You have to let him go. Now, a lot of women attempt to play the middle ground and still remain friends and they’ll say to themselves well, I’m not going to have sex with him. I’m not going to get too involved with him.

But you got to stop lying to yourself because many times you fall right into that trap. You end up doing girlfriend stuff, you end up sleeping with him, and even if you don’t, you become so emotionally invested and consumed by this situation that it completely takes your eye off of where you should be focusing. You, your relationship with God, your purpose, your growth, you cannot let this man be a distraction in your life. If he is not ready to be what he needs to be for you or to fully commit to you then let him go. When he’s ready, he can come back you guys can discuss it and if things are what they need to be, then you can have a relationship with this individual.

But do not get caught up trying to play the middle ground, because you’re only going to play yourself. So, ultimately listen, there are going to be some situations where the man is just lying. There are going to be some situations where the man is being honest. Either way, you don’t need to get romantically involved with him. You need to be honest with yourself that you cannot handle trying to be just his friend in the meantime.

And if there’s truly a connection there, there will be an opportunity later on. But you don’t need to be sitting around waiting for that opportunity. You need to shift your focus back on you. You need to make sure you’re doing what God wants you to do in your life.

And when you do, you’ll receive everything that is truly for you. Don’t get caught up in these situations. Do what needs to be done, focus on your growth, and you’re going to see the blessings come your way. (Music) (Music) (Music)